When you’re not sure what you want, it can be scary to start a difficult conversation.
But sometimes you need to talk to the other person before you can figure it out.
The reason is because problem-solving is creative, and there are many solutions for every problem.
If you don’t include the other person, you’re missing half of the creative power in the process.
You feel a weight on your shoulders right now because you’re taking the responsibility to find the solution by yourself.
Not only does this limit the solutions you come up with on your own, but in order to have a solution that really sticks, you need to include the other person.
But if it’s scary to start the conversation, I have a tip for you.
Instead of approaching the person with an intention to solve the problem, how about approaching them with an intention to connect, to help them feel heard, or to just get the problem out in the open.
Those intentions will guide your actions.
You don’t have to know what you want when you get started. You can just start by doing what your intention requires.
If you want to strengthen your appreciation for her, you can say, “Before we get started, I want you to know that I appreciate that you made time to talk with me today.”
If you want him to feel understood, you can say, “From what I’m hearing you say, it sounds like you’re pretty upset about the new business on the corner because of the traffic it has caused. Did I hear that right?”
So, instead of defending your point of view or trying to figure out what to do before you talk to this person, focus on the process.
How do you want to feel, or what do you want to express in the process?
When you focus your intention this way, you’ll open up many options that didn’t exist before.
Because the process is part of the solution.
Try it out! Reply to this email and let me know what happens.
Always expect the best!